Remember the Holy Man scenario? Now it comes narrated from the point of view of the priest! Well, until he dies that is...then a "Greek" Dimitris tells the rest of the story!
You probably need to have played enough Age of Empires to understand some of the jokes in the narration but hopefully it is enjoyable nonetheless :)
You can test out the Acapela demo text to speech box on their website:
• The narration:
Oh great!, so here I am, all alone next to a river.
You would think King, Hammurabi, wouldn't be such a cheapskate
and give me a couple of men to protect me from these barbarians!
Lucky for me, the developers of this game have given me a great POWER.
All I need to do is wave my stick and chant WOOLOOLOO!
And the enemy's clothes will change to the colour of my robes!
Oh look, here is one now!
The only problem is, all this WOOLOOLOO ing makes me short of breath!
Don't you even think about it!
You would think, that after their fellow comrads are slaughtered
right outside their own training facility, they would have learned
their lesson! But no, another one of these, club-swinging idiots,
marches out to die at the hands of their traitorous tribesmen!
Oi you there! Go and hammer me a villager factory, right there.
Time to get these loyals to make me a grand city!
These men are insistent on trying to fix something that will be
destroyed! At least I won't have to go chasing them all around the
Aha! Yellow shorts, come back here!
A little kindness goes a long way...
Why are these people stealing MY bushes? Off with their heads!
Help! I've been am- hoogh!
Well, it looks like old man river didn't have what it takes to
become a grand leader of Babylon. I told him he should have practiced
his sticksmanship! Now these guys are all alone in hostile lands...
Those yellow shorts fiends just don't give up!
After upgrading to the not so stupid age, they proceeded to hammer
every yellow building until it was on fire.
Yellow team is such a noob, trying to hide their villagers in the forest.
At least put them on the side of the map where you can't see behind the trees!
It seems the yellow barbarians have managed to construct a tower out
of sticks and decided to start a fyer on the roof.
Unfortunately the archer inside is too stupid to figure out how
to light his arrows on fyer.
You would think the easiest way to take down this tower would be to light it on fyer.
But no. However, if you carry a dried elephants ear and fling pebbles using
a piece of ripped shorts, you suddenly become strong against arrows.
You don't even have to use the elephants ear as a shield! Just
hold it be your side and you'll be fine.
After destroying the yellow town, it seemed they still had something,
somewhere on the map.
After a little bit of looking around, we found their dock. The decided to build it right there, I mean, there isn't even any fish around here!
Now we had to ruin all the red buildings because our people hadn't
worked out that you can also paint buildings the same colour of your shorts!
Nevermind, whacking the animal hide with enough bones eventually makes it catch on fire
and burn to the ground...victory!, at last.